drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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