Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
