My pussy is not your playground.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
