he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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