I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
