I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize