Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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