remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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