friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize