okay pat passed out under dana's car
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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