So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
