Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
