Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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