Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
