Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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