I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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