super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
