Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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