I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
