I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
