I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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