in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
