Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
