He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude. I can hear the air.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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