So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize