Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
