i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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