I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize