3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize