she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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