im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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