My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
