I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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