well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
