i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
