Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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