I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
