Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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