He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Blood and glitter go together right?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
