he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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