shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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