I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Let's get the cat blown out
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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