Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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