its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
