How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
