there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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