Having a random hookup so left but love u
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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