my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
