I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize