my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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