can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
