the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
