Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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