throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
