there's paper in my vomit.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
