I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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