Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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