Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
