Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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