I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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