his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
