You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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