i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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