i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
whose ass print is on the piano?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Randomize
