I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
