This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
