I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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